How to find freedom from the opinions of others


You are not here on this earth to please every person. In fact, you will do lots of things that others do not approve of, do not agree with, and just doesn’t align with the way they view the world. It is your choice to review the feedback they are giving you (whether a structured critique or snide remark) and make the decision to take it on… or not. You don’t have an obligation to carry any piece of information about yourself that you don’t want the weight of.

This may not come simply at first, but if you follow these steps – you will begin to harness the power of your authentic self and deliberately choose what you want to identify with and what you choose to leave behind.

First, get to know yourself. Understand your strengths, your values, your priorities, and your areas in need of growth. I’ve found the best way to get to know myself is through writing, meditating, and reading. This may not be true for all people, but it is what aligns with my soul. I repeat mantras, I smile at strangers, I walk in nature, I absorb a good chunk of positive and inspiring things on a daily basis, I narrate elaborate stories in the voices of my dogs. Through this, I have dug in a bit – and what I found was… there are a lot of things I like about myself. I didn’t know all of those things were there before. Some of these things I used to view as weaknesses, then discovered that just wasn’t so. I celebrate these things and assign greater value to them. The things I truly don’t like as much – I begin to transform… or lovingly accept. Because some of that shit is just sticking around.

Second, be a witness to your thoughts, actions, and reactions. With this practice, you will begin to understand your beliefs and observe your self-talk. Your beliefs are the framework from which your subconscious mind functions and the way you talk to yourself or about yourself and others serves as a filter for the way you experience the world. Consciously, we can only sift through a small fraction of the information thrown at us in any given moment. That’s why it’s so important for us to remain present and observe our thoughts, emotions, and actions. Fine tune when necessary. Flip the script when necessary. Forgive yourself when necessary. Hit CTRL + X when necessary, as many times as necessary. Frame your core beliefs from a place of love, worthiness, and abundance and the Universe will return love, feelings of worthiness, and abundance.

Lastly, trust that you know what’s best for you. No one knows what is best for you, except for you. Well, and maybe you’re mother. I did not need a lip ring my freshman year of college. Thanks, Mom!

Not everything we say will be accepted. Not everything we do will be supported. Make that pun. Wear those toe socks. And bring your own candy (or tuna sandwich) to the movies.

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