There have been a few moments recently that I’ve just felt crummy. The
unmagical magical thing about embarking on a journey of positivity and happiness and opening yourself up to the universe and following your dreams and allowing yourself to grow and just plain old blissing out on the joys of life… is that I am not entirely free from the occasional not so good day, negative feeling, major disappointment, or impatient tendency. We are all humans and humans experience a range of emotions. It’s how we handle those emotions that sends us into a space of happiness or a space of emptiness. The most beautiful part about reflecting on your actions, reactions, and patterns of thinking is that you are aware of your triggers. You better understand what causes you emotional distress, what you fear, what that fear does to your thought process. I am aware that my high expectations will hold me back from enjoying the little things, the big things, and the medium-sized things. Therefore, I practice letting go of expectations by staying present and accepting things for what they are. Sometimes this translates to, “I accept that powdered laundry soap was used on the carpet to absorb odor instead of baking soda and it’s okay (and kind of smells amazing).” I am aware that sulking over a believed missed opportunity or perceived waste of time is not going to get me that opportunity or time back. Therefore, I practice focusing on the positives that can come from the experience. Keyword, practice. All you can do is reflect and revise.
Do, reflect, revise, do, reflect, revise (repeat).
But, I would be lying if I said my daily work toward that ultimate feeling of being at peace with however things go… was due only to my thoughts and/or actions. Because let’s be honest, there are moments when I just want to dwell on the 3 things that went wrong, rather than the 10+ things that went right. I want to say something sassy instead of holding onto my words to reevaluate a better approach. Yeah, I make a point to indulge in my passions, absorb thought-provoking articles (read: not TMZ), write words that are important to me, spend time with my thoughts, turn around a bad mood by diving into positive thoughts and encouraging myself to do better. But sometimes we just choose the wrong reaction. Or should I say, we let ourselves react in a way that does not serve us. The biggest factor when it comes to sustaining your happiness and staying accountable? The real influencers? The people you surround yourself with.
The other day I came home, slumped down on the couch with a sigh and fell into a cloud of negativity. My dear husband listened to my complaints, including the fictional stories I had created about why things had gone the way they did. He listened and when there was a moment of silence, he said, “What are the good things that happened today?” At first I was irritated to hear him say this. Irritated because I knew he was right. I knew from the moment I hit the couch that this was the path I should take. I should focus on the good. I was aware of it, but too stubborn to take it. Luckily, though I didn’t choose that path… I was guided to it. And something positive had happened, something very positive. That day, I had reconnected with a friend in the form of an hour long indulgence of life plans, lessons learned, and all of the happy-for-you, uplifting talk that is so important in friendships. We hadn’t officially talked in… let’s just say, far too long. Like an embarrassingly huge length of time. That should have been my focus– the positive reconnecting with someone dear to me. The good feelings of jumping right back in where we left off. The joy we had for all of the good in each others’ lives.
So that’s what I choose now. And, in documenting this event through writing, I hope this experience serves as a reminder the next time I am faced with the deep, dark hole of negativity or the expansive, light-filled path of all things amazing.